Dear Monday (30/30 #7 NaPoWriMo)

Dear Monday,

F*** You
You were already an a**hole to begin with
But it’s become clear that you have no remorse
Serial offender
Always popping up when you’re not wanted
In-laws in town for the holidays
Take hints better than you
A U.S. solider in Haiti
Would say you’ve over-stayed your welcome
I tried to tell myself you were the devil
Just so you could convince me you didn’t exist
You make Gilbert Gottfried seem palatable
To put it mildly
It would take the engineer who designed the Shop-Vac
To fully describe the capacity with which you suck
Edwards Scissorhands and Freddie Kreuger
Taking turns finger-painting on chalk boards
While singing off-key renditions
Of Bette Midler’s “Wind Beneath My Wings”
Would be a pleasant alternative to you
There really is no punch-line here
You’re just a prick
Go kill yourself

P.S. Tuesday thinks you’re a little b****

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