Public Service Announcement (30/30 #1 NaPoWriMo)

Ladies and gentleman
I’ve come to you today to bring to your attention
Something which you may not have realized
I…have a big ass forehead
No, it’s true
It was already large when I was a child
But the steady regression of my hairline
Has only increased it with time
And just because I look like an overgrown Cabbage Patch Doll
That doesn’t make me any less of a person
Actually, technically speaking I think that makes me more of a person
But that’s neither here nor there
Point being, just because my forehead
Is big enough to have a face of it’s own
That doesn’t mean I should be subject to constant ridicule
After all, a high forehead was once seen as a sign of high intelligence
But instead I’m subject to claims of extra-terrestrial tendencies
Some of you act like you’ve never seen a life-sized bobblehead before
And if it’s not enough to be the center of your amusement
When I frequent the amusement parks
The cartoonists refuse to make a mark
Wryly stating that my forehead takes up the entire page
Or simply advising there’s nothing they can do
Because I’m already a caricature of myself
But deep down I know these are merely signs of petty jealousy
Particularly among slam poets
Because my physiology grants me the use of my “prop” on stage
So you can keep the sympathy cards addressed to my girlfriend
Lamenting the damage my offspring may cause
As they exit womb
For I shall keep my head up high
Despite that it causes a tremendous amount of strain on my neck
I shall channel your negative energy and snide remarks
And cultivate them for the greater good
So, hobos of the earth
I offer you free use of the world’s first flesh-based dry erase board
Tell whomever you like that you’re willing to work for food
And don’t bother to ask, I’ll save you the trouble
We’ll be doing the same thing we do every day Pinky
Trying to take over the world

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